Awakening

Awakening:

 

In the summer last year, I had what in Zen people call satori or kensho, if I’ve been well informed.

It came some months after my lifelong PTSD was over, which ended in spring.

I unlearned a lot after that.

And I understood that some things cannot be integrated by comprehending them at an intellectual level. In that regard, trauma and awakening are similar.

Satori happened in the midst of deep anger and sorrow, when any self-image was seen as an illusion.

Satori was spectacular; everything stopped in my mind for the first time in my life, and silence set in.

A couple of weeks after that, the ego came back.

I thought that I had made a terrible mistake; later, I realised it was not.

Months passed by, and I investigated a lot within myself until I finally understood.

That moment was nothing like a spectacular satori, mind you; it was ordinary, it was simple.

If you awaken, you will pay a price, and the price is everything.

The price is you, everything you think you are, everything.

If you want to feel superior to others, that’s fine.

If you want to be a spiritual seeker, that’s fine.

If you want to be a being of light, whatever it is, that’s fine.

If you want to feel good with yourself, that’s fine.

If you want a state of perpetual bliss, that’s fine.

If you want to pretend you’re rational and not emotional, that’s fine.

If you want to feel special, that’s fine.

But that’s a character; that’s precisely what dies in awakening.

As long as you keep that mask, forget about it.

Is it really worth it, anyway?

Do you really want to be ordinary and abandon everything you are?

What do you really desire?

What do you truly fear?

Every time you hear a bird chirping, that’s the gateless gate.

Every time the sun casts a shadow at twilight, that’s the gateless gate.

Every time you feel the world being your own skin, that’s the gateless gate.

Where the fuck are you staring at?

Your thoughts and feelings are external; look beyond that, look within.

I believe most people don’t want the truth; they want comfort.

And that’s totally fine.

I promise you: that’s totally fine.

However, if you want liberation, please understand that in inner peace you cannot hide from yourself.

Some people don’t even go through satori at all and they simply get clarity, but for many, the first step in the journey is satori and the last one is clarity.

And whatever is before satori, is just stories you tell yourself; nothing more.

Ironically, what is sought cannot be gained or lost, and whatever effort you might make in one direction or another is what will keep you trapped.

But our mind is programmed to make efforts to reach a goal.

Only who you truly are is not a goal, it is just what remains when the noise fades away.

You cannot create silence, you can only interrupt it.

If you really want to awaken, abandon any conception you might have about it, as it can only obstruct your gaze; abandon any idea you have about yourself, abandon that character.

Drop that mask.

Trust who you truly are, not who you think you are.

 

     Awakening  © 2026 by Marta Roussel Perla is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/

 

Más allá de las tierras de las tierras del bien y del mal

Más allá de las tierras de las tierras del bien y del mal:

Una variación de este texto se publicó en la revista THEO-POETICA, Vol. II, una producción de The College Theological Society de la Universidad Trinity de Dublín.

Vayamos a las tierras más allá de lo correcto y lo incorrecto.

En algún momento entenderemos que no tener razón es un error de perspectiva.

En algún momento entenderemos que tener razón es pura ceguera.

 

Después de todo, nuestras excusas y justificaciones pueden hacer que cualquier mala acción se vuelva buena a nuestros ojos. La negación hará que nuestros patrones echen raíces y tomen las murallas de nuestra personalidad. No será necesario adivinar el futuro para conocer nuestro camino porque todo lo que hagamos se convertirá en una deuda que contraeremos con nosotros mismos.

 

Nadie es malo, pero todos son ignorantes.

Todo el mundo piensa que es una buena persona, capaz de juzgar dónde otros yerran, con los ojos sellados por los puntos de sutura de las buenas intenciones, mientras el impacto en los corazones ajenos queda desamparado en el reino de la exageración.

 

Tomar responsabilidad sobre el impacto que generamos sin buscar excusas no hará que tengamos razón, sólo que estemos presentes.

Limpiar el corazón sólo significa descubrirlo.

 

Desafiemos nuestros ciclos, levantémonos por encima de nuestros antiguos yoes, y hagamos una reverencia llena de genuina compasión ante quienes éramos cuando no podíamos hacer otra cosa que sobrevivir.

 

Vayamos a las tierras más allá de lo correcto y lo incorrecto, y dejemos de ser esclavizados por nuestros juicios y comparaciones.

 

Aquí hacer daño a otros es hacernos daño a nosotros mismos, ya que nada es bueno o malo. Hacemos daño a otros, es inevitable, porque no le damos importancia a lo que ellos sí y viceversa.

Así que podemos equivocarnos. De hecho, nos equivocaremos; he aquí nuestra profecía.

Sí, aquí podemos cometer errores; lo único que no podemos hacer es huir de ellos.

 

Nos encontraremos aquí, en las tierras más allá, donde los espejos están hechos añicos por ley porque quien llega hasta aquí sabe mirar hacia adentro.

Nos encontraremos aquí, en las tierras más allá, donde la sabiduría son los errores vistos desde el otro lado, donde la interdependencia y la reparación son el curso natural de la vida.

 

Sólo necesitamos un coraje infinito para que el murmullo de nuestra mente se aquiete y vuelva a su estado original por un segundo solamente.

 

La empatía nos ayudará a llegar a la puerta sin puerta.

 

Adueñarnos de nuestras acciones y consecuencias nos ayudará a cruzarla.

 

Dejamos la máscara del yo en el umbral, antes de que la puerta desaparezca tras nosotros.

El yo no hacía falta. No hacía falta que protegerlo, ¿lo ves?

 

Vayamos a las tierras más allá de lo correcto y lo incorrecto.

No perderemos ni un minuto.

Sentirás que estás a punto de caer por un precipicio, atrévete: volverás a quien realmente eres.

 

    Más allá de las tierras de las tierras del bien y del mal  © 2026 by Marta Roussel Perla is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/

Beyond the land of good and evil

Beyond the land of good and evil:

A variation of this text was published in THEO-POETICA, Vol. II, a magazine produced by The College Theological Society at Trinity College Dublin.

 

Let’s go to the lands beyond right and wrong.

At some point, we understand that being wrong is merely an error of perspective.

At some point, we understand that being right is pure blindness.

 

After all, our excuses and justifications can make any bad action we do seem good in our eyes. Denial will cause our patterns to take root and seize the stone walls of our personality. There’s no need to predict the future to know our path, as everything we do will become a debt we incur with ourselves.

 

No one is evil, but everyone is ignorant.

Everyone thinks they’re a good person, capable of judging where others err, with eyes sealed by the stitches of good intentions, while the impact on other people's hearts is left helpless in the realm of exaggeration.

 

Taking accountability for the impact we generate without making excuses won't make us right; it will only make us present.

Cleansing our heart only means discovering it.

 

We challenge our cycles, rise above our former selves, and offer a genuinely compassionate bow to who we were when we could do nothing but survive.

 

We come to the lands beyond right and wrong, and stop being enslaved by our judgments and comparisons. Here, hurting others is hurting ourselves, since nothing is good or bad.

 

We hurt others—it is inevitable—because we do not think some things are important, and they do, and vice versa.

So, we can be wrong. In fact, we will be wrong; here is our prophecy.

Yes, here we can make mistakes; the only thing we cannot do is run away from them.

 

We will meet here, in the lands beyond, where mirrors are shattered by law because those who arrive here know how to look inward.

We will meet here, in the lands beyond, where wisdom is simply mistakes seen from the other side, and where interdependence and repair are the natural flow of life.

 

We just need infinite courage for the murmur of our mind to quiet and to return to its original state, if only for a second.

 

Empathy will help us reach the gateless gate.

 

Accountability will help us cross it.

 

We leave the mask of the I at the threshold, before the door disappears behind us.

The I was not necessary. There was no need to protect it, see?

 

Let’s go to the lands beyond right and wrong.

We won't waste our time.

If you feel like you are about to fall off a cliff, dare: you will return to who you truly are.

 

Beyond the land of good and evil © 2026 by Marta Roussel Perla is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/

Infinity

 Infinity:

 

I've seen an ocean of light,

there are ripples within 

that clash against each other. 

Those are our actions,

our perfect chains,

which affect others,

which affect others,

which affect others.

When we remember 

we are the light and not the ripples,

those ripples can no longer affect us

because there is not an us anymore.

We see their chains,

and we see the light underneath,

infinity.

 

So come help anyone bound by the chains

of judgment, fear, superiority, arrogance, pride,

the chains of right and wrong,

if they want to be aided.

Point at the truth with your silence,

point at the truth with their silence.

Show them that infinity has no words

and no lords.

 

    Infinity  © 2025 by Marta Roussel Perla is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/